New Year. New Chance. (3 things to remember in 2024)

Tonight , we will gather with friends, family or maybe just have a chill solo night in. But somewhere  around 11 pm we will start to reflect, maybe remembering our vision boards from the start of 2023. We will either feel accomplished or become quickly consumed with regret. Trying to figure out why we just couldn’t eat a little better to lose the weight or why we didn’t save more money. We will probably quickly decide to just roll over those goals into 2024, maybe adding a few more. Just a bit more pressure for a little razzle dazzle.

But we never seem to include space on our vision boards for the mishaps, like the unexpected expenses, our relationships with other, the grief and even physical and mental illness. Vision boards often seem so definite and so absolute, with goals such as “this year I will lose 50 pounds” next to a picture of a salad and a woman in workout clothing.  But why not “this year I will learn healthy eating habits and start to move my body more”. After all, everything has a beginning.

My beginning for 2023 was amazing. I ventured into a new position at work and it felt I was checking things off of my goal list left and right. And yet, while this year started as one of the best I experienced in some time, something quickly shifted. See this year was my year of isolation. I would have to miss out on a lot and sit alone often to really grow this year. And as a result, this year felt lonely. And not lonely in the sense that I had no one to speak with because my family and friends remain to be an amazing village. But lonely in that, I would really have to break down completely, the good, the bad and the ugly and work to heal from some things I felt was already healed. But sis, healing works like that, never linear and triggers always popping up when we least expect. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much as I have this year. But sis, we know that flowers need rain.

I second guessed myself in almost every area this year. Girl, that imposter syndrome will get you. Was I doing great at work? Was I being a good mom? Was my son happy? Why couldn’t I do more things I loved? Because I really missed the Renaissance tour this year, but I digress. I really found my relationship with God this year. And not in the routine way of going to church but I made my worship and studying a priority. I saw the foundation created by me being in survival mode this year and that alone gave me faith in all the things to be built and to grow in 2024.

So sis, somewhere along the way in 2024, imposter syndrome may kick in, something or someone will try to convince you that you can’t or that you aren’t good enough. Your vision board and list of goals may attempt to hold you hostage. I’ve learned in 2023 that sometimes the things we deem important and necessary at the start of the year are not even involved in the plan God has for us. When that doubt begins to creep in (because it will), here are 3 things to remember.

Learn to Pivot

If there is one thing that life will continuously show us, is that it doesn’t go exactly as planned. Like ever. While it is necessary to have goals to give us a road map of what we want to work towards, sis, you have to be ok when things go left; you must learn to pivot. And in that pivot, look for new roads to get you to your destination. You will learn the absolute most while traveling on those roads. Some of your goals may require you to break them down into smaller chunks. Please don’t feel defeated sis. Instead, be sure to honor yourself for each step you make towards something greater.

Sit In It

This is the hard one. The moments of isolation that require us to do inner work are always difficult and often exhausting. Creating a list of things we plan to accomplish seems simple but examining the reasons we haven’t yet accomplished some goals and the realization that it could have been because of us can be devastating. If this next year is one in which you need to spend time getting to know yourself or working through past hurt and trauma, do that first. If you have a goal of being a homeowner sis, you absolutely need to find the root of your issues with spending first. End relationships that don’t mean you well and be selfish when necessary. You are responsible for your healing first.

Be Ok with Being Ok

I find myself often telling myself that I am ok and I’m surprised by how much convincing that sometimes takes. Sis, when you have gotten use to being in survival mode, it can leave you constantly on edge. You are always awaiting  the next issue, and that in itself brings about anxiety.  Now, I’m not telling you to completely forfeit those skills at all because in the words of some close to me, “Stay ready so you aint gotta get ready”. But, what I am encouraging is for you to enjoy the moments of 2024 that are “ok”. The moments when things are calm and you feel great. The accomplishments that come from this year are deserved and don’t you second guess that. You belong in the midst of all of the peace you fought for and it’s ok.

It surprises me that of all the years, this year seemed to be so difficult, yet still I’m left with this weird feeling of accomplishment.  If all you did this year was survive, you did it. If you only found time to search within, congratulations sis because it was necessary for your growth. Here’s to all the silent battles you fought and to all the times you needed to readjust. You made it! We made it!  2024 is hours away……you  ready?

Thanks for reading and see y’all next year !